When the Sunshine State sizzles…
There is no such thing as a cold tap.
Parking spaces beneath trees cannot be found for love nor money.
Cold air escapes from the open doors of airconditioned outlets as they chuck loadsa money at the power companies with ne'er a thought for energy conservation (not-so-Smart State).
Folks flock to cinemas (where the aircon is often on sub-arctic setting all year round) or shopping malls in order to bask in the cool.
They sit in stationary airconditioned vehicles with the engine running for ages, adding to Australia's emissions and filling nearby homes with unnecessary fumes.
Uninsulated walls and tin roofs absorb heat, rapidly warming your home as soon as you give the aircon a rest.
People fling themselves into water – any water – with even more gusto than usual.
Walking anywhere for more than ten minutes is not an option after 11 am.
Most washing dries outside in a matter of minutes, but people still use dryers.
Even scaredy-cats look forward to storms – as long as there's no hail, which can be enormous and damaging and more noisily terrifying than any other storm element.
One storm cell may produce tens of thousands of lightning strikes.
There are more unexplained power outages than usual.
At home, you live largely in a twilight zone, with blinds down from mid-morning until early evening.
Several showers and changes of clothes a day may be necessary, especially if humidity is high.
Sometimes you're secretly relieved there's no Daylight Saving Time as you yearn for the merciless sun to drop beneath the horizon.
You marvel more than usual at the fact that most roofs are not plastered with solar panels.
You consider the hitherto unimaginable: owning more than one pair of 'thongs' and shopping in shorter shorts than you'd have worn to the beach in another life.
It's too hot to wear jewellery.
Even the birds pant.
It may well be hotter in Australia's other state capitals (except Hobart) than it is in Brisbane.